Family is a beautiful thing.... these two cuties live a good 7 hour drive from us now. I haven't even met the wee man yet. That doesn't mean that I can't gloat - in being the aunty of two of the cutest kids on earth....
Well, I made it. The month has been filled with challenges. Here are some points of interest:
I feel about 100% fitter than when I started
I am about 3kg lighter
I've lost around 16-20cm altogether
I did not stick to my diet plan the whole 30 days
Two of the weekends I was away and ate bad
My basic method for dieting is a fairly simple "low carb" diet. Low carb diets have taken some flack over the years, but I am well researched, and they make sense to me. I am not a freak and I still eat fruit and veges etc. I restrict all processed sugars and flours. The only other things I don't really eat are potatoes and bananas.
I surprise myself (and others) with how little I actually "NEED" to eat, when I am eating quality foods, and small amounts of protein in each meal.
I have been feeling healthy and lean. Since the weekend and our time in the City, I have been eating quite badly. I mean, sugar, flour, bread, potato, mcdonalds - that kind of bad. (lucky I'm an honest person!). I actually feel really sick, I'm bloated, nauseated, light headed, lethargic, tired and feeling generally sick. It goes to show what healthy eating does.
So back to business tomorrow I think.
I am still after a much bigger personal victory with this - cause my unhealthy eating just shows that given the right circumstances, my humanity is unreliable in making good food choices. I LONG to be healthy and fit - for the rest of my life... so this journey is not over.
I'm thinking about doing a detox next week.... any ideas on a suitable one? And don't worry, I'm pondering a new health and fitness goal.
oh the life of a mum! I've been exhausted lately, no exercise being done here this week. Miss 1 is running a fever today.
At the moment, I'm surrounded by people with desperate needs - and my heart of compassion longs to reach out and touch them all. If only I was a super-woman.
On the weekend, we had a much needed trip away - and saw some beautiful things. Highlights....
[caption id="attachment_175" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="My husband's client built, and owns this marina"][/caption]
[caption id="attachment_176" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="a beautiful day for a child-less meander..."][/caption]
[caption id="attachment_177" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I snapped this of the city from a moving vehicle..."][/caption]
I was going to post a whole lot of pictures about my week, but I will leave that for another day.
Today, our Nation is mourning a great loss. 29 good men have died in the Pike River Mining disaster. A tragedy.
In times like this, words cannot really describe the anguish that the people are feeling. Words do not console.
As a Christian, many people turn to you for answers. People ask questions like - "where was God?", "why do bad things happen?", "why didn't He stop it from happening?"
While I cannot answer those questions, and tears fill my eyes each time I get asked another - I can offer something. God's heart hurts more than anyones over this loss. He grieves, because He too has lost. He does not will that people should die young, nor does He want people to die before knowing Him.
Anger and questions and doubts and worries are all a part of the grief process, and they are all ok. Let grief come. My prayer is in the midst of this horrible storm, people will look and see how big, how loving and how great God is. He is the comforter. He can give new hope.
My heart, prayers and thoughts are toward the whole town of Greymouth right now. You are all hurting and we as a nation are hurting with you.
I feel there is an appropriate song for this tragedy in our nation:-
I love the bridge, very relevant...
Fee, Everything falls apart
You said you'd never leave or forsake me when you said, this life is gonna shake me and you said this world is gonna bring trouble on my soul this I know
When everything falls apart Your arms hold me together When everything falls apart You're the only hope for this heart When everything falls apart And my strength is gone I find you mighty and strong You keep holding on You keep holding on
When I see Darkness all around me When I see That tragedy has found me I still believe Your faithful arms will never let me go and still I know
When everything falls apart Your arms hold me together When everything falls apart You're the only hope for this heart When everything falls apart And my strength is gone I find you mighty and strong You keep holding on You keep holding on
Sorrow will last for the night but hope is rising with the sun (it’s rising with the sun) and there will be storms in this life but I know you have overcome You have overcome
We went away in the weekend, and I indulged, during about 3 meals... how I've missed my sweets. But I'm over the need to indulge, and back on track today!
Here are the stats.... I am rowing between 35 and 41 minutes now. Feeling fitter. Still need to test it out with a run.
I am getting closer to my goal, and am officially (for the first time in our whole relationship) lighter than my hubby. I also have visible abs. Yes, I do folks!! haha. Not that I'm toned....
So, with 10 days to go, the goal is nearer!! I want to continue on past the 30 day mark, heading for the tri - so will set myself challenge after challenge.
So, this year I've been decluttering my life... I just felt the need - and now that is significantly more clutter free - I feel more on top of things.
I was doing so many activities with miss 1 I felt worn out. 2x coffee groups, a course for new parents, not to mention all the other stuff.
If I wrote a list of all the different activities and groups there is available for mum's and babies/toddlers nowadays - I'm sure it'd have over 100 things on it.
Sometimes I think we do too many things with our kids - instead of just 'being' with them. We come out of careers, and get bored of just being at home. Activities are good - as long as they're not at the expense of your time with them. You are your child's best teacher.
I cut out most stuff I was doing, and loved spending time at home - just building relationships with people I wanted to, and enjoying my sweet princess.
I decided recently that I would join the local playcentre. After all, I can't bear to watch princess stare through the fence watching the kids play - longing to be a part of it. Yes, it is next door.
Summary of my first month: day 1 - really hard. Knew one person briefly. Felt really awkward. Day 2: felt more a part of things. Day 3 onwards - I feel like I'm an old hand. I'm loving holding all the new babies we have!!
Today was my first PC meeting experience. Topic: Christmas party.... Just a few parts of our discussion...
"lets bring presents for the the Salvation Army..." yea, for Christmas we'll teach the kids to feed the hungry.
"And lets make nativity scenes with the kids! I just love the baby Jesus in a manger..." - not a Christian speaking...
"What day shall we have our party? saturday, nah, sunday - when do you ALL finish church?? Ok so 2pm is good?" - yea, there's a fair few Christians at my PC.
Oh, and don't forget - the last day of our term - we're having a BIG birthday party - for JESUS.
Complete with cake.
[caption id="attachment_145" align="alignnone" width="259" caption="wonder if it will be as delicious as this looks....."][/caption]
"Shall someone dress up as santa?? oh, yea I suppose we could do that...."
Santa was the last thing on the minds of my 'new-found friends'... How I love that in a public arena, Jesus is still cool at Christmas.
[caption id="attachment_144" align="alignnone" width="240" caption="Even Santa bows before Him....."][/caption]
These bronze stiletto heels..... I bought these baby's for my wedding and never wore them - but I'm loving rocking them out at the moment!! Looking forward to them featuring in my outfit at a friends wedding soon!
Belated birthday cards, and gifts..... one especially made by my precious friend 'Rachel Kate' - check her out and her awesome makings - right here > http://www.stephengartonismyhero.blogspot.com/
What's even better - is it perfectly (I mean ABSOLUTELY perfectly) matches my heels!!!! AND will go great for the wedding~!
So, for this wedding, I have a borrowed dress, my stilettos and thought - I need a bag - but money is a bit tight, didn't really want to buy one - and looksee above - YAY!!
I love how God knows the little things that are important to us, and uses other people to meet them. It wasn't a need - just a nice touch that I wished for. He wants me to look good - and appreciates my effort. Totally love His finishing touch to my outfit....
This baby is a sure hit for me right now too....
[caption id="attachment_131" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="to check on 'progress'"][/caption]
And lastly (maybe best of all) another birthday gift - this incredible book. An autobiography by an amazing man, who preaches to crusades with millions (YES millions) of people in attendance..... what a journey
[caption id="attachment_132" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="real life - incredible story! thank you mummy & daddy in law - I know you believe in me..."][/caption]
I have taken to a small notebook, left on my kitchen bench - for anyone to peruse at any given time (especially the hubby). I write down each food item that passes my lips through the day.
Want to know what - IT WORKS!!!!
I don't even think about eating one biscuit (let alone 5) - because I know I will have to write it down - and then anyone in my house, or visitors, could read it at any given time. Aha!! I think I have found a way to make the goal easier to achieve.
I have rowed 4 times - I'm rowing around 35 minutes straight now. I cycled 10km the other night - WAS AWESOME!
I do a weekly weigh, and measure the basic points, bust, waist, tummy, hips, butt, thighs & arms. Everything is smaller. It is amazing that my arms are - because they've been the thing I struggle to shift fat from - so to be different in a week is awesome!
I have lost weight, fairly quickly - but I know that a decent amount of it was fluid. So, have 21 days to go, and around 4kg. hmmmmm.
That is, provided I am not expecting no. 2 by then. Yes, that time has come.
Perhaps I'm turning into one of these people my father nicknamed "psychologically disturbed" - when we watched them as a kid sweating it out in the hot summer sun for miles and miles. ;-)
When I was a young girl, I always dreamed and hoped, that one day I could be a ballet dancer, or be good at gymnastics.
I totally love shows like dancing with the stars. I love the rythmic gymnastics in the Olympic games - I could watch people dance for hours. Modern dance has lead to hip-hop, and jazz and other genres - and I certainly love watching a good, clean dance piece.
Well, in my recent 'journey' - I realised that not having the opportunity to dance as a little girl - (the finance being one reason, and having an 'unlikely' dance figure being the other) - had actually left a bit of a hole in me. Quite a big one.
A part of me, in need of redemption - by the Lover of my Soul.
Now I'm a rather out-going person, but to frollick unskillfully and prance around 'dance' where others can see me (apart from husband and child) is TOTALLY out of my comfort zone.
So in this journey of freedom finding - I have discovered something - I can dance like a six year old - in front of my Daddy (Jesus) - and He thinks I'm LOVELY!!!!! (Even if every other human being thinks I'm nuts.) And you know what - if I'm dancing for Him - I don't really give a stuff what anyone else thinks.
I have long thought that if the church could just get FREE and dance before our King - maybe we'd do better than the night clubs at reaching people. We need people who are FREE, (who don't need a dose of liquor in them) - just loving God and loving themselves & each other.
Young people just LOVE to dance. Most people just LOVE to dance.
Friday night youth - yes - I danced...
Sunday morning church - yes I danced...with ribbons! mind you, I had two beautiful, FREE, 6 year olds standing beside me, ribbons in hand, not caring what the 300 or so other people in the room thought.
Was it fun - HECK YES!!!! Did it make my God smile - HECK YES!!!! and I couldn't help but laugh when I got a very approving grin from the other side of the room - my Daddy in law.
So God is redeeming this area of my heart - where this unlikely young woman in the eyes of the world - looks at the face of my Creator - and JUST WANTS TO DANCE.
I am DANCING - and loving every moment.
Perhaps my next shopping expedition will be looking for tights & a tutu.
I had a few personal goals for this year. Very few. I'm learning how to not expect too much of myself. That should probably be one of them.
The list pretty much looked like this:
stop breast-feeding
lose weight
get fit
live a healthy lifestyle
Now this is a challenge for me. Eating is probably my greatest weakness. I eat when I'm stressed, depressed, bored etc. Oh to be a mum at home with a new baby... haha. I just like eating. Over the previous 5 years, the stresses I had been under meant I ate - and put on nearly 40kg. I lost 20kg before I fell pregnant...
I don't like these pictures - I'm just proving a point
[caption id="attachment_92" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="pretty much at my biggest"][/caption]
I want to live well, set a good example, and when I'm done with kids and they've all moved out - I want to be fit and healthy and able to live out the dreams I have for then.
So - stop breast feeding - check. Lose weight - check - about 15kgs of it. (step 1 - admit I have a problem and am the only one who can change it). Get fit....uhhhh... live a healthy lifestyle.... uhhhh....
I'm not quite done with the losing weight, but MOTIVATION has seriously lapsed lately. With it coming into party season, our anniversary and both birthdays in one month - makes for a month of goodies. I went to the gym for a bit, but carting miss 1 to a babysitter, gym then going back made it take almost 3 hours. To do that 3 x a week? NO WAY!
[caption id="attachment_93" align="alignnone" width="225" caption="just a couple of weeks ago"][/caption]
My delightful in-laws see my desperation of wanting to exercise, but having a busy 1 year old who is rather determined beyond her years. And, they see their son, skinny, but a nice round POT forming on his front.
Birthday = NEW ROWING MACHINE!! I like.
So, now that the "party month" is over, I set myself a new goal. I call it - the "30 day challenge". I have a month.
Goal = get fit, and lose AS MUCH of the remainder of the weight that I can. And hopefully tone up pretty much my whole body the "problem areas".
I still struggle with my eating - and I can help myself - but I don't really have the power to change me. God does - so I've been asking Him for victory. And I KNOW He is going to give it to me.
I will check in to say how I'm going. Day 2 - I'm feeling good and have rowed both days. Might need a rest tomorrow.
[caption id="attachment_94" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="My AWESOME friend Kristy and I... enjoying a special moment together"][/caption]
Learning I was going to become a mum in a little less than nine months came as a surprise. It was a big deal to me... a real big deal.
Look at it like this - career sorted > my choice of promotions laid out before me > big money > big opportunities > pay off mortgage before 30 = kids come later.
[caption id="attachment_80" align="alignnone" width="225" caption="not to mention getting "fat""][/caption]
Any woman who has ever had the surprise of being pregnant will know what I mean when I say I had some crazy thoughts. All of a sudden I could sympathise with women who have abortions - though I don't think that "option" is the right choice. I felt like I was losing my life. I grieved for what my life was before - before this little life in me became such a part of me.
So my baby was born, all 7lb 7oz of her in naked splendour - and her mummies life just changed forever.
[caption id="attachment_81" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="God is good"][/caption]
Two years on, that little life - the one that in the early months I forgot was in me (until the next bout of nausea) * the one I saw on the scan - at just 12 weeks - moving, kicking, sucking her tiny thumb * the one the Father named and prophesied over while I was grieving about my life * the one I felt move - which re-assured me "she's alive," * the one I bore in pain, with water and blood.....
She serves as a great reminder to me. A reminder that Jesus bore me - in pain, with water and blood.
[caption id="attachment_83" align="alignnone" width="225" caption="Girls just wanna have fun"][/caption]
She is the delight of my life. She brings so much joy. God gave her to me, to remind me that I had dreams long before I had a career and opportunity on a platter. Dreams that far surpassed the boring life my "career" could offer me.
According to wikipedia: Lily of the valley is considered the sign of Christ's second coming. The power of men to envision a better world.
In the "language of flowers", the lily of the valley signifies the return of happiness.
Life for me in the few years leading up to the birth of Lily, was pretty dull. Plagued with depression, stress, sickness, misunderstandings and many other difficulties. It was much like a valley - a deserted one. Not much grows in valleys or deserts. Not much grows in a life full of deep pain.
I have realised a few things in my almost 18 months of motherhood:
I expect far too much of myself
I let others expect far too much of me
I shouldn't read 'all those books' on parenting, before I'm a parent
Babies don't do what 'all those books' say they will or should
Next time round I will read less, and rest more
I don't have to please anyone but Jesus
Not everyone understands the choice of being a 'stay at home mum'
Not everyone needs to understand
Mum's are amazing
Becoming a mum changes your friendships
Love people and let them go
Don't sweat the small stuff
Let the children play - in the mud, puddles, dirt, rain, pantry....
I can be a child again
Mother in laws are amazing women, who should be loved, treasured and discovered
Have hobbies aside from being a mum
Jesus remembers our dreams and will get us back on track when we forget them
Jesus heals depression, He wants us to be whole and FREE
Love Jesus with everything
Enjoy the moment
Recently, a man of God - and also a great friend - (you can read about him here http://www.symondrake.com/) - he had a word from God for me. That was - "this is your happy season". He didn't know how right he was.
Lily of the valley = the return of happiness
I'm on a journey. Being stripped of all the stuff I've allowed in or filled my life with over the years, that just wasn't "me". Being reminded of who I am, because of who He is. It's a painful process, but I'm being made FREE.
FREE = HAPPY
And tonight, the two of us sat in front of the mirror - with a camera, and squealed and fussed and had fun - just me and my girl, my Lily. I'm so grateful for her - I wouldn't trade this for anything...
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